Like/ Unlike – No Dislike ????

The title sounds familiar – right ? I guess one of the most popular social media site – Facebook – has these options – Like and Unlike. But has no feature to Dislike something. I was reading a joke somewhere that Facebook is so popular because it seems to be built on an age old truth that people are more interested in others lives than their own. I am not sure of either of this – whether the age old truth is really a truth and whether FB is actually based on it.

But I do like the stand that the Facebook team has taken to provide a Like Button and then another one to Unlike the thing you liked some time back. I dont know their reason to not have “Dislike” option so far.  And I also don’t know if that is on their road map in near or distant future plan. But I respect them for following the art of social behavior and not allowing negativity flow through them.

I love to think of the underlying and subtle statement that this gives out. And it may hit you powerfully too if you think of it.  Specially if you have been a judgemental kind of person (like I was – I would like to think I am getting better at not judging others anymore).

There is a society and then there are individuals.  And though its a complex relationship and difficult to decide whether Society is dependent on Individuals or is it the otherway round – a healthy balance is a reasonable outlook – most of the times. There are rebels and traitors and conformists and age old social stigma(s) and Taboo(s)  – all existing as the components of the ecosystem.

Lets look at some cool features of Facebook vis-a vis our social behaviours-

  • You can like something – that people do.
  • You can view something that people you are indirectly related to but cannot intrude to give a good or bad comment. But are free to take your learning or happiness out of it.
  • There are learned people, leaders and motivational people and people with great sense of humor who share their thoughts with you and you can share them within your circle of influence.
  • If you keep commenting bad on someone – that is not appreciated – you get reported as SPAM (The moderator of this life is the society at large and God within ones self).
  • You get pleasure on sharing your experiences with your loved ones about different events in your life , your trips, your achievements , your awards – some people like to share about the food they eat every time because that food makes them happy. And your loved ones love to talk amongst themselves and also with you about these. They learn too from your experiences and have fun too.
  • If you continue to harass people or say something that’s not good to hear – you are at risk of being dropped from their list of friends.
  • You like something today but you realize you don’t like that person or activity the next day – you can unlike.

But NOWHERE CAN YOU DISLIKE. Why?

  • If a person shares something about his life or experience – you can like, unlike but not dislike – because you dont have the rights for it.
  • Even if the event is related to some you dislike – its between those 2 folks – you can respectfully keep out.
  • If the event is about you and you dont agree to what is being said – you can report it out or even better – drop that person from your circle – so he takes his negativity with himself and lives with it.

Dislike here represents the negative emotions .  And disliking something about others which is not illegal or unethical is not welcome. People eventually distance themselves from such folks. One has the right to  choose with whom he interacts but he has no right to show down or judge others lives or acts that are not otherwise condemnable under law.

One of the funny things said about Dislike or lets use a stronger emotion here – Hate , is  – One should be careful in choosing the person whom he hates – Because you eventually become the person you hate.

Great Mahatma Gandhi – Father of our nation said – about negativity – Dont Speak bad, Dont See bad and Dont Hear Bad. Famously depicted as his 3 monkeys.

And I used to always wonder what harm are WE doing by listening if someone else is talking negative – I myself am not saying the bad things- so where is the problem – I can relate to not seeing bad or not talking bad.  But whats the harm in listening- I found my answers based on my personal experience of few years – When someone talks bad in front of you – If its about you – Its equivalent to violence against you and by tolerating it – you are becoming part of the violence. And if its not about you – you are being imparted that negativity that can grow in you and you are now a carrier of violence – Mental violence – a deep form of it.

So like someone or something – unlike if you don’t agree but don’t dislike – you are not authorized to – its ones own choice of how he /she leads their life – as long as its law abiding- keep away from people who unnecessarily cross the lines of social behavior and constantly dislike others – it will corrupt you and make you as unlikeable as they themselves are.

A positive outlook, self belief and a fighting spirit are key to be successful in life. Disliking something constantly or being surrounded by people who dislike you constantly – makes your mind practice negativity – which interrupts in all these key aspects – positive outlook/self belief/never  say die spirit – of an achiever. So beware !! Be conscious of your thoughts.

Lots of love and appreciation for all you great folks!! You are doing just fine…Smile again 🙂

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10 thoughts on “Like/ Unlike – No Dislike ????

  1. at-least for this post we don’t need any DISLIKE button for sure…

    I really enjoyed the messaged in following lines….
    “……..When someone talks bad in front of you – If its about you – Its equivalent to violence against you and by tolerating it – you are becoming part of the violence.
    And if its not about you – you are being imparted that negativity that can grow in you and you are now a carrier of violence – Mental violence – a deep form of it…..”

    ……but then where can i LIKE this post ???

  2. u done a grt job,all wrds r right. specially dis sentence :You get pleasure on sharing your experiences with your loved ones about different events in your life , your trips, your achievements , your awards – some people like to share about the food they eat every time because that food makes them happy. And your loved ones love to talk amongst themselves and also with you about these. They learn too from your experiences and have fun too.

  3. Hey where is the “like” button for this post ;-))

  4. Good flow of words there, Smita.
    Unfortunately I believe that we need to have the right to show our ‘dislike’. It is not synonymous to Hate. It is the only available form of protest one has. The freedom to say that we DISLIKE someone’s action.
    and DISLIKE, as you said is clearly not anywhere near an unlike. An Unlike is just a neutral point of view. For the smooth functioning of the society, there needs to be the provision of a Dislike.
    Isn’t that how our parents brought us up? By telling us when they Liked and Disliked our actions?

  5. Dear Abhinandan,
    Thank you so much for taking time to read and review the blog. I really appreciate all the time you spent on this and also for the open feedback.
    The way i will look at it Abhi is that -Showing disagreements or guiding our loved ones for what is right or what is wrong does not amount to disliking something or someone. The light in which I want dislike to be seen here is more judgemental in nature and not with a constructive intent.
    Feel free to tell me what you think.

  6. Hi Smita – nice well rounded blog…kudos…but how can I forget that I am born critic… 🙂 As a devil’s advocate, let me tell you it is so important sometimes to dislike someone or something because of a very simple reason that you cannot be like him/ her….now it can be both in positive or negative connotation. But either ways, dislike is as powerful as like…how can you see a happy world without sadness, how can our heart be healthy without our heart beat hit both high n low. What I mean to say is, there is nothing wrong to express the feeling of disliking…its not a negative feeling, it is pointing towards a negativity rather!!! Cheers… and don’t dislike me for the anti-disliking post… 😉

  7. Hi Smita,

    Nicely written piece. You made an ‘ordinary’ into an ‘extraordinary’. Shows an acute sense of observation, sensitive appreciation of the subject and the others around. Your words are measured and apt full of empathy.

    Carry on, Young Lady. Your are on the right path and your heart is at the right place. A great combination of intellect and sensitivity .

    Regards,

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