Act, while you still can!

With too many things going on in life one is constantly forced to prioritize. And the best story that I can think of, about priorities in life is “The jar of life — Rocks, Pebbles, and Sand” story. Many of us must have read it. If you have not, here is a quick refresher.

The original story

A philosophy professor once stood before his class with a large empty jar. He filled the jar with large rocks and asked his students if the jar was full.

The students said that yes, the jar was full.

He then added small pebbles to the jar and asked again, “Is the jar full now?”

The students agreed that the jar was indeed full.

The professor then poured sand into the jar and asked again.

The students then agreed that the jar was finally full.

The professor went on to explain that the jar signifies one’s life.

The rocks are equivalent to the most important things in your life, such as family, health, and relationships. And if the pebbles and the sand were lost, the jar would still be full and your life would still have a meaning.

The pebbles represent the other things that matter in your life, such as your work, school, and house. These things often come and go, and are not permanent or essential to your overall well-being.

And finally, the sand represents the remaining small stuff and material possessions in your life. These things don’t mean much to your life as a whole and are likely only done to waste time or get small tasks accomplished.

The metaphor here is that if you start with putting sand into the jar, you will not have room for rocks or pebbles. This holds true for the things you let into your life too.

If you spend all of your time on the small and insignificant things, you will run out of room for the things that are actually important. So in order to have a more effective life, you should prioritize important things in your life and then worry about pebbles and sand at a later time. (Story referenced from : https://medium.com/@adityakothadiya/another-side-of-the-rocks-pebbles-and-sand-story-9e26a6cc0af)

The twist in the story

While I am in full agreement of the story, few experiences of my life made me realize that there is a twist to the story. When I first read the story, I realized the importance of prioritizing the big rocks in life. But since I am at a stage in my life where I have already filled my jar atleast half or maybe more. I can look back and check if I filled them with rocks or sand.

And frankly speaking everyone can do so. A quick review – whether we have our priorities right? If we have filled the jar so far with sand, then maybe we stop doing that and here onwards, start filling the jar with the big rocks that should have been our key priorities from the start. Simple, isn’t it? Actually not.

It is not simple because when we imagine this story, we keep all the big rocks, pebbles and sand – constant with time in our private boundaries. We forget we live in public domain and we can’t control everything. What we don’t imagine is – that as time passes on, maybe few of the big rocks are no more available for us to fill in our jar. Maybe someone else filled their jars with the big rocks and pebbles that you overlooked.

In Seths.blog , there is a piece that says – “Perfect or we’re not going”. It states this escapism mentality very clearly. More than procrastinating it is the lack of clarity in mind on the decision. Or as he says – people say they want a decision to be taken in the most perfect way -only to cover their inaction. It is a way for inaction without saying no explicitly. So, when I have people telling me that they are looking for the best way to take action – specially over long duration of time – I stay interested in seeing how perfect they make the action when they do take it.

It has happened with me multiple times. I have on occasions not acted urgently to do what I really wanted to. Finding the perfect moment and the “right” way to do it is easy excuse I give myself. I have postponed interviewing people I valued most, who are no more. I have not thanked my uncle (my father’s eldest brother) for dedicating his life in building us up. He is no more. There are things I realize I never did with my kids, when they were younger and I really wanted to. I was busy attending something or someone that seemed more important back then. Now my children are teenagers. I can still attend to those items at work or other people. But I cannot go back and live those moments with my children.

And on this day – I have 3 choices. One is – Cry over spilled milk and be angry with myself and the world for all the sand I filled in my jar without focusing on the big rocks and pebbles. Another is – Continue to think I will do all I want someday and continue to wait to fill my jar with the big rocks and pebbles because the perfect way has not yet been planned. The most productive way forward would be – forgive myself for the overlook. Take charge. Re-look at my priorities. And start acting on them without delay. Pick up the big rocks and pebbles quickly and fill them in my jar and the sand can continue to be filled in. But atleast the right things got their place, first – and easily.

You can do so too – Just blatantly stop living the “confused and lost” way. Without any explanations to anyone. It is your right to do what is urgent to you in the one life you have. Pick your big rocks before they fill someone else’s jar and/ or you lose them forever.

Act, while you still can.

10 ways to be forever sad

Here are some amazing ways to keep yourself sad – some of it you may be doing , some of it you may have seen your loved ones doing it. Learn few more tips to attain your favourite state of mind – Being SAD.  Never Change any of these that you do and further more never encourage others around you who do this, to change.

  • Speak Lies for no good reason – even when there is no threat to anyone’s lives
  • Never do anything for others – compassion is for the weaker ones !! Always focus only on your life –  I , me and myself are the only people to care for.

Barely there yet  

  • Be late to bed and late to rise – what can we do – part of modern day lifestyle – dont worry , I understand you are forced to do it – you have no choice to choose your timings. Keep doing it.
  • Never do anything on time – don’t meet your appointments, don’t respect your body clock and never respect other’s time – it’s a crime!!
  • Believe in external forces – Always look for happiness as a return gift from others – Dont be happy for your kids, life, parents, education, perfectly moving limbs, sky above or stars in it, trees around or birds on it – thats ridiculous – happiness comes from somewhere else always – never from within ; also, make sure you truly believe that others are the cause of the misery you are going through . Unlike happiness, which is a gift and you have the right of refusal for acceptance , your pain is a genetic gift, YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT from the one who is passing on the pain genes to you- glad you understood this.
  • Overspend – spend more than what you earn. But more importantly, don’t keep a tab on your income and expenses (never maintain your log – how much you spent on what or what  money you took from or gave to others )

Am getting bigger   

  • Dont trust anyone – no one’s worth it!!
  • Live in past : Keep playing in your mind your happy times – that are long over. Keep playing the bad times in your mind too – multiple times. Re- live the moments – build the pain inside – one time wasnt good enough.
  • Do this to others – “Shut up and Listen to me” : I am the only one who speaks the truth. There is no such thing as perspective, or opinions or benefit of doubts. Nor there is anything called “Absolute Truth” and if there is some absolute truth – it is what I speak.
  • Give free advice – unasked for –  it doesn’t cost to ramble – so why bother. Whoever in mess, whatever the mess – give your thoughts – doesn’t cost anyone anything. Trust me – there is no such thing as inner personal circle of an individual – spouse or friends – go , tell them how you think they should handle their lives.

Finally there – Absolute Sadness           

I promise you my friend – sadness can not run away from you till you are practicing anyone of the above. Try doing them all – that will take you to the Nirvana state of sadness – better term – Absolute Sadness – no one will ever be able to pull you out of your state, as hard as they may try :))))) sorry – wrong smileys – :((((((((

Say Yes to yourself!!

Uncertainties of modern life are causing tremendous stress on ones mental and physical state. Trying to keep up with the pace at which world is changing gets very demanding on us. But all of this is for a cause-  don’t we all want to make it big in this world. Don’t we all fancy a huge fan following and getting popular and most importantly making an impact to this world in our own big or small ways – So that we are not forgotten so easily and are not redundant to the ones we care about and to the ones we feel important about.

We all live by some personal principles which we would follow under ideal circumstances and if all decisions were left to us. However, our need to be needed gets demanding quite often causing conflicts in our thoughts and actions –  as we sacrifice our principles more often than its prescribed for a healthy mind in order to be accepted or to avoid conflict(s) externally.

And no, before we assume that this means we are living life completely wrong, lets also face the reality – that in the game of life there are certain rules you have to play by. So its obvious, that even if you want – you can’t always do what you think is right, sometimes you have to give in, in favor of masses or practical solutions or social pressure or happiness of a loved one or for the words of a respected one.

Every step we take is an outcome of a decision box we go through. Like a typical decision box – there are 2 out comes – Yes and No. Yes- symbolizes you took the decision in line with your inner voice and principles of life. No – symbolizes you took the decision against your own thoughts but for a reasonable reason (atleast as per you).

All I suggest you to do is keep measuring with every decision you take , how many Yes’s and and how many No’s do you score in one day. Make it a practice, to measure it everyday for a month and then see your average score. And if you are getting more NOs than YESs , you know you are moving towards leading an unfulfilled life and a regretful end. In which case, you may want to consciously take decisions which are more YESs in a day than NOs. If your YESs are more than NOs – you are already on path to a satisfied life.

Truly speaking, there is nothing more important than real happiness that makes your life feel fulfilled and satisfied. Your heart always knows what is good for you and what is right.

Anything good in life is worth fighting for!! Be brave, try following your heart and saying Yes to yourself more often. Happy life is worth it!!

Good luck and God bless you!!
Feel free to share your typical YES decisions , your YES / NO counts for the day and any improvement you could make? How did you feel after you started to see more YESs than NOs – consistently in your daily life.